“I spent $5,200 on my dog’s cancer surgery and my fiancée won’t speak to me until I beg her forgiveness”

My German Shepherd is ten years old. A few months ago he started acting strange. The first couple vet visits didn’t show anything until we felt a large lump under his fur. It was a tumor. Malignant. The vet said it would cost over $5,200 to remove completely and there was no guarantee it would work. I don’t know why it was so expensive but it didn’t matter to me. He is my dog and there was no question in my mind.

I paid for the surgery out of my own savings. This is important. My fiancée and I have separate finances and my savings are easily five times what she has saved. When she found out how much the surgery cost she went ballistic. She said I paid for it without asking her when we are planning a wedding. She says she will have to downsize her wedding to compensate. She said my dog is already ten years old and the money wouldn’t go far anyway. I can’t comprehend how she could say that to me.

My dog is family. I refuse to put a few thousand dollars over his well-being. My fiancée says I am being selfish and that our wedding should come first since we are starting a family. She has not talked to me since except to tell me to take out the garbage or clean the dishes. If I try to engage her in conversation she shuts down or walks away. She refuses to talk this over unless I get on my knees and beg her forgiveness. I can’t bring myself to do that as a matter of principle and self-respect.

My best friend says I should just apologize to keep the peace because a wedding is more important than being right. My brother says she is manipulating me with the silent treatment and that I should run because anyone who makes you choose between your dog and begging is not a partner. I love my fiancée and I don’t want to throw away the relationship. But I also can’t compromise on this. He is ten and he is my family.

Part of me thinks I should just get on my knees and say I am sorry so we can move forward. But then I think about what she said about him and I get angry all over again. She told me the money wouldn’t go far because he is old. She said it like his life was a bad investment.

“Am I wrong for refusing to apologize?”