A woman wondered if she was wrong for not allowing her son\u2019s ex-lover to meet their daughter after both parents decided they did not want to keep the baby. She turned to the internet for advice.<\/p>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
A mother of an 11-year-old daughter and 33-year-old son turned to Reddit for advice on whether or not she should allow her son\u2019s ex-lover to meet her daughter 11 years after she had said she didn\u2019t want her.<\/p>\n
Eleven years before the post, the woman\u2019s son had gotten a woman named Erica pregnant. Neither Erica nor the woman\u2019s son wanted to keep the baby, but since the woman and her husband had tried and failed to have more children, they decided they would raise the child as their own.<\/p>\n
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For 11 years, the couple raised the daughter of their son and Erica as their own, never telling her they were not her birth parents and that her brother was her father. However, this all turned on its head when Erica changed her mind.<\/p>\n
What Happened Between the Parents and Their Son<\/strong><\/p>\n
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The woman shared that she and her husband did not have a good relationship with their son, as he had no interest in seeing or being around his daughter. However, they regularly texted and had phone calls with him.<\/p>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
Although the woman and her husband paid Erica\u2019s rent for two years while she was in college and helped her financially, they also had a strained relationship with her after she gave her child up to them.<\/p>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
One day, the couple\u2019s son visited them. \u201cHe told us Erica had asked to see our daughter,\u201d the woman\u00a0recounted. While the woman\u2019s husband had told Erica they might have allowed contact when she was pregnant, they didn\u2019t feel it was appropriate then. This is when things went awry.<\/p>\n
What Happened When the Woman Refused Erica\u2019s Contact?<\/strong><\/p>\n
The woman and her husband decided that they would tell her when they felt their daughter was well enough to handle the news that her grandparents had\u00a0adopted\u00a0her from her father and his lover.<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n
However, with their daughter in therapy for anxiety, they decided it would not be the right time to drop that bombshell on her. The woman\u2019s son thought she was being horrible to Erica.<\/p>\n
Erica, who had since given birth to a boy who was two then, said she couldn\u2019t imagine how the little girl would feel when she found out that her adoptive mother had been keeping a massive secret from her all these years.<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n
Erica\u2019s parents, who the woman and her husband had known for 25 years and had been friends with when Erica fell pregnant the first time, refused contact with the couple and said they had \u201callowed\u201d the adoption eleven years before.<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n
The woman was confused at the reactions she received because they had been through something similar before. She\u00a0revealed<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody had a problem [three] years ago when we went through this. Erica contacted us then, and we shot her down telling her that we weren\u2019t comfortable until our daughter was an adult, but now suddenly everyone is losing their mind.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n
Some people supported the woman, telling her she had every right to decide what was suitable for her daughter and when to tell her about the situation. Many said the woman was the girl\u2019s mother for all intents and purposes, and those around her should accept it.<\/p>\n
However, some users thought the woman was being unreasonable, not telling her daughter her true life story and denying the girl\u2019s biological mother access, especially since they had implied she might have had contact when she was pregnant.<\/p>\n
Many said the woman\u2019s daughter had as much right to know she was adopted as her biological mom had to request to meet her. Some advised that she tell her daughter what was happening and then find out if she would like to meet her biological mother.<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n
Do you think the woman and her husband were right in not allowing their daughter to meet her biological mother? How would you have handled the situation if you were in their shoes?<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n
Interfamily adoptions are not common, but they do happen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A woman wondered if she was wrong for not allowing her son\u2019s ex-lover to meet their daughter after both parents decided they did not want to keep the baby. She turned to the internet for advice. A mother of an 11-year-old daughter and 33-year-old son turned to Reddit for advice on whether or not she …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":23721,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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