Roof Bear

Roof Bear
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A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.

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So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there’s an ad for “Alberta Bear Removers.” He calls the number and the man says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

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The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.

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“What are you going to do?” the homeowner asks.

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“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.

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When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his **** and not let go.

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The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”

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He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

 

“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.

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“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”